Should I Call My Ex? 14 Reasons Not To Call Your Ex
There is never a reason to call your ex. You may miss them and wonder how they are doing, but it’s best not to act on those feelings. Even if it’s their birthday, you don’t need to call them to say ‘Happy Birthday’ anymore. In fact, they’re probably not even expecting you to do so. Some people feel like they still have to maintain contact with their ex, but doing so can prevent them from moving on fully from that relationship.
This can have a negative impact on any future relationships they may have. While it may seem like an innocent call, it can trigger a series of events that can affect you more than you could imagine. Be strong for your future self and resist the urge to call your ex.
1. The relationship is already damaged.
Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for can leave you feeling confused, and you may even second-guess your decision, regretting it instantly. However, if you’ve decided to end the relationship, it will never be the same, no matter how much you loved each other. Going back is not a good idea, so it’s best to resist the urge to call your ex. You may miss them from time to time, especially in the beginning, but it’s a normal part of the breakup process.
2. There’s a high chance of going back to the first stage.
When going through a breakup, you experience different stages of emotions. After making it through all the stages, the last thing you want to do is to go back to the first stage, which is usually denial. You’ve put in the effort to accept the breakup and move on from it, and talking to your ex may only take you back to denying the breakup. This may make you start considering getting back together with them, which is unlikely to work out.
3. They might have moved on already.
People move on from relationships at different paces, and the reality is that your ex-partner may have already moved on from the relationship you had together. It’s not recommended to call them, but if you decide to do so, make sure that they are not already seeing someone new. Otherwise, you might embarrass yourself and make it even more challenging to move on from trying to get back with them.
4. You are in the process of forgetting, not reestablishing old feelings.
Repeat this to yourself as many times as you need. When you first break up, you may be reminded of your former partner when you look at certain things, and this can stir up old feelings. This is normal, but you need to remind yourself that you’re not together anymore for a reason. Don’t let go of that idea, as it can help you forget your ex and the relationship you once had much faster.
5. You might not want to disappoint the new person you just met.
If you have met someone new and really like them, it’s not a good idea to call your ex. Imagine how you would feel if you were talking to someone and then found out they were talking to their ex. It’s not a pleasant feeling, and when you’re talking to someone, it’s natural to expect that they’re not secretly communicating with their ex. So, avoid being that person and resist the urge to call your ex.
6. You want a future with someone who is ready to start a family.
One reason why the relationship may have ended is that they were not ready to start a family. This is a significant issue, and it’s important that both partners want the same things. If this was the primary reason for the breakup, it might be tempting to overlook it, but that’s not advisable.
Couples who ignore this difference and try to make things work usually end up resenting each other because they want different things. Remember not to contact your ex and acknowledge that this is an ongoing issue between the two of you.
7. You’re not with her for a reason.
It can be tough to come to terms with the fact that you’re no longer together and to accept that this is how things are now, but it’s crucial to remember that you’re not together for a reason. If it’s beyond your control, accepting it can be even harder, but it’s necessary to do your best to come to terms with it and move on rather than giving in to the temptation to call your ex.
8. You only want to talk to clear your name.
Especially after a tough breakup, you may feel the need to clear up any negativity or bad feelings between you and your ex-partner. It’s natural to want to end things on a good note and not be held accountable for things you know you’re not responsible for.
However, when it’s over, it’s over, and you need to accept that things ended the way they did, even if it’s not ideal and they may view you differently. Trying to clear your name may not make any difference, so it’s best not to call your ex and move on instead.
9. You’re just bored.
Maybe your love life isn’t going well, and you’re finding it hard to meet new people, leaving you feeling bored. However, this shouldn’t be a reason to call your ex. They’re your ex for a reason, and there’s no need to reach out to them anymore. Instead, try to leave them in the past and start calling your friends when you’re feeling bored.
10. You’re afraid of putting yourself out there.
Putting yourself out there after a recent breakup can be exhausting, especially if you’re out of practice and find it stressful. It can be a struggle to get back into the swing of things. However, don’t call your ex just because you’re afraid of meeting someone new. It’s time to take the leap and move on.
11. Someone told you they miss you.
Someone tells you that your ex has said they miss you, and suddenly you’re sucked back in, even if you thought you were over them. You’re curious and tempted to talk to them, hoping to reignite a spark. However, you don’t even know if your ex actually said those words, and it’s best not to let temptation lure you in again. Don’t call your ex just because someone else told you something.
12. You know you can’t be friends with them.
Why call your ex if you know you wouldn’t be able to handle a friendship with them? You might not be completely over them, or perhaps you’re upset with them for something they did to hurt you. If you don’t think you can have a friendship with them, it’s best not to start any type of conversation with them.
13. You need to move on completely.
You shouldn’t call your ex because you need to give yourself space and time to move on completely. This could take days, months, or even years. Everyone processes their feelings at their own pace, and some may find it easier to move on than others. Calling your ex will only set you back, making it even more challenging to move on completely.
14. They haven’t reached out.
Just because your ex hasn’t reached out to you since the breakup doesn’t mean you need to reach out to them. It’s natural to want to check in on them and see how they’re doing after the breakup, but if they have friends, it’s likely that they’re already receiving support. Both you and your ex should be focused on healing and moving on. It’s best not to be the one to reach out just because they haven’t done it yet. Sometimes, things really are over when you say they’re over.
Conclusion. It can be challenging to resist the urge to call your ex, but with the list of reasons why you shouldn’t call them, it should become easier. Remind yourself that the sooner you move on and cut ties with your ex, the sooner you’ll be ready to find new love and be free from any problems in your past relationship.
This article was originally created and published by Gianluca Petrozzi on May 3rd, 2023 and includes up-to-date information and insights from experts on the topic.
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