How to Be a More Approachable Person

Do you feel like no one wants to talk to you or like the last person that is offered an opportunity? This is because, unfortunately, you are not a very approachable person. Don’t worry, you are capable of changing that. Below you’ll find a list of 11 ways you can seem more approachable.

1. Don’t walk looking down.

Avoid looking down when you’re walking because it makes it seem like you don’t want anyone to talk to or approach you for anything. When you look down, it’s a sign that you’re not feeling great or don’t want to be approached. So if everything is okay, make sure you are looking forward when you’re walking.

You also want to be aware of your speed. If you’re walking too fast, it looks like you have somewhere to be, and you’re in a rush to get there. If you want to seem more approachable, make sure you walk at a normal speed. You will notice more people will be inclined to stop and talk to you or stop and say hello when they see you.

2. Smile often.

Sometimes we don’t realize that we’re not smiling, this is normal, but it’s important to be aware of whether or not you’re smiling. If you want people to approach you, you want to come off as someone nice and friendly, so make sure you smile. Try to make it a natural smile because if you force it, it will be noticeable and look like you’re trying too hard.

3. Relax your facial expressions.

Just as sometimes we don’t notice whether or not we’re smiling, we’re not always very aware of our facial expressions. Some people tend to scrunch their eyebrows, and they look like they’re upset, even though they’re not. This could be for something simple like because they can’t see well and they’re not wearing glasses, or perhaps they’re just concentrating on something. However, because they’re making this face, they’re less approachable. So make sure to be aware of your facial expressions and relax them.

4. Be responsive when someone approaches you.

When someone approaches you, be responsive. Engage in the conversation they’re trying to have and don’t seem uninterested. You can nod throughout the conversation and make eye contact with them while they’re talking to you so that they feel like you’re being responsive. Avoid staring off into the distance or getting distracted.

5. Be expressive with your body language.

Your body language can be very helpful when trying to be more approachable. Avoid slumping, instead, stand straight and tall. Avoid having your arms crossed, it makes you seem angry or closed off, instead, have them relaxed by your sides. Make sure you’re facing the person trying to approach you or talk to you, if you’re facing away, they’re not going to be as inclined to go to you, and they’ll go to someone else instead. Little tricks like this can go a long way.

6. Look presentable.

How you look will have a lot to do with whether or not people are approaching you. You don’t have to have the most expensive clothes or shoes, but you must look decent. Try having clean clothes, and make sure there are no holes or rips in them. If you can’t afford to buy new ones, that’s okay, you can repair the ones you have as best you can. Make sure that not only your clothes are clean but that you are clean as well. Personal hygiene is important. It’s basic to shower and ensure your hair doesn’t look crazy.

7. Be available to talk.

It’s okay to want to be productive, but if you’re constantly doing something, it will be impossible to approach you. Try not to be doing something always so that people feel like you’re available to talk to.

8. Avoid nervous habits.

If you’re an anxious person, you might have some nervous habits that don’t look the best. Perhaps you tend to tap your foot a lot when you get bored or impatient, or you bite your nails or pick at your fingers. Avoid doing these things if you want to seem more approachable. If it’s obvious you’re nervous, or you’re not extremely open to talking and have these reactions, no one will approach you.

10. Don’t be negative.

Negativity is not going to make you more approachable. If you’re someone that tends to complain a lot about every single little thing, people aren’t going to want to talk to you. Work on having a better attitude about things, and don’t be so negative. Perhaps, when you’re with others, avoid complaining even if you don’t like something. Keep it to yourself so you don’t come off as a negative person.

11. Mirror people.

If you’re unsure how to act, the easiest thing to do is mirror whoever you’re with. For example, if you’re having a conversation and they sit down, sit down with them, they’ll feel like you want to continue talking to them because you’re reinforcing that what they’re doing makes you feel comfortable, and you want to do that too.

12. Don’t look at your phone.

Looking at your phone is the most annoying thing you can do when you’re having a conversation, it will make the other person almost instantly not want to talk to you anymore, and they’ll feel like you don’t care about a single thing they say because you’re giving more attention to your phone than to them.

If there’s an emergency going on, excuse yourself, explain that you need to deal with something quickly, and they will understand. However, if they notice that all you are doing is scrolling on social media or watching short videos, they’ll think it’s very rude, and you will not seem approachable.

Why Do You Seem Unapproachable?

When you’re making changes to seem more approachable, you must understand why you haven’t seemed approachable in the past. Here are some potential reasons.

• You don’t seem interested. If you don’t seem interested in talking to other people, no one will want to talk to you. It’s as simple as that. You have to give off the energy you want to attract. Remember the tips that were mentioned above about being available to talk, engaging in conversation, and not looking at your phone. The easiest one to ignore is the one about not looking at your phone because most of the time, we automatically reach for our phones when we’re bored or losing interest. If you really want to be more approachable, sometimes you have to pretend that you’re interested, even if you’re really not.
• You look upset. This goes back to the tip about being aware of your facial expressions and smiling more. People may not be approaching you because you look upset. It sounds silly, but think about a time when you’ve wanted to approach someone who looks upset. You probably can’t think of one because no one wants to willingly approach someone that looks upset or unhappy about something.
• You’re too loud. If you’re too loud, you could come off as annoying. Some people are louder than others, that’s true, but you need to be able to measure your volume and be aware of where you’re at and how loud you should be speaking. You might be surprised, but if you start being more careful about how loud you speak, people might start approaching you more.
• You speak badly about other people. If someone has noticed that you tend to speak badly about other people or gossip about them, they will not want to talk to you because they will be afraid that you will do the same to them. They will avoid talking to you and becoming your friend to avoid you speaking badly about them or gossiping about them.

Benefits of Being Approachable

Below you will find some of the benefits of being approachable. 

1. You’ll have more friends. If you are more approachable, more people will want to talk to you and spend time with you, and you’ll make more friends. Other people want to surround themselves with people who seem happy and like they’ll be a good friend. When you are unapproachable, you seem the opposite of that, so becoming more approachable will surely change the amount of friends you have.
2. You will have more opportunities in life. In general, someone who is more approachable will have more opportunities. If you seem open to doing more things and open to new opportunities and experiences, they will present themselves. However, when you’re closed off, those opportunities and experiences have a way of avoiding you because, whether you realize it or not, you’re avoiding them too.
3. Better communication skills. Being more approachable allows for better communication skills. You will be much better at carrying a conversation and starting new conversations with anyone, whether you know them or not.

Ending

It’s not a good idea to remain an unapproachable person if you are aware that you are one. Do your best and try to do all of the things stated above, one by one, to start turning into someone more approachable. You might not get it right away, and it might take some practice, but sooner or later, if you really want to be more approachable, you will achieve it by following this list.