9 Signs of a Stagnant Relationship and Tips to Overcome It

You may be lucky in love and have yet to experience a stagnant relationship, but it’s more common than you think. Many couples fall into a routine, or they’re not on the same page regarding whether they want a future together, and they start to experience stagnancy in their relationship.

What Is a Stagnant Relationship?

When you’re in a relationship, there will be a lot of ups and downs, but those experiences enable you to move forward and grow with your partner. In a stagnant relationship, however, there are no highs and lows. A lack of emotions and desire to build a future together may exist.

Signs That You’re in a Stagnant Relationship

1. You’ve talked about a future, but you’re not making it happen.

When you’ve talked about building a future together, but neither of you is taking the necessary steps to make it a reality or talking about what needs to happen to accomplish it, and you only talk about wanting it, chances are your relationship is stagnant. It’s a relationship that has considered the idea of evolving into something more, but isn’t being proactive in achieving that goal.

2. There’s not a lot of effort being put into growing the relationship.

Whether it has been discussed or not, neither of you is putting effort into growing the relationship. You’re not doing things like meeting each other’s family, seeing where the other person grew up, or meeting their closest friends.

These are all actions that could bring you closer and help you merge your lives, finding a place to meet in the middle for the kind of life you may want to create, but neither of you is making an effort.

3. You’ve been together for a while, but you’re in the same spot.

If you’ve been in a relationship for a while and you feel “stuck,” it’s likely that you’re in a stagnant relationship. You’re uncertain why you’re still with that person, and you’re not particularly enthusiastic about continuing the relationship.

You’re somewhat content because you’ve grown accustomed to it, and it may be challenging to recognize that this is a characteristic of a stagnant relationship and a sign that things need to change.

4. You’ve never talked about having a future together.

No matter how long you’ve been together, if you’ve never talked about having a future together and have no intention of doing so, you’re in a stagnant relationship. Whether it’s because you don’t want a future with that person or don’t know how to have that conversation, the absence of any discussion about a future together is a sign of stagnancy.

5. You’re both in a time of your life that is temporary.

You may have met this person in college, while traveling, or during any other temporary phase in your life, and you don’t intend to be with them beyond that stage. You’re seeking a companion for the moment, but as a result, you may feel like you’re in a stagnant relationship. There’s no room to develop or anything to strive for because you already know that you don’t want a future with them.

6. You don’t want a serious relationship with this person.

When you’re with someone, you’re typically either with them because you see potential in building a life together or because you don’t want to be alone and need someone to spend time with. If you’re certain you’re not seeking anything serious with this person, your relationship will likely become stagnant.

This is a temporary companionship where you know you won’t be with that person in the long run, so there’s no need to make an effort to take the relationship further than it currently is.

7. You don’t care about finding solutions to your problems.

In a thriving relationship, it’s normal to encounter problems and most couples in a healthy relationship attempt to find solutions to their issues. However, in a stagnant relationship, you have no motivation to resolve problems and often choose to ignore them and sweep them under the rug.

8. You feel like you’re waiting around for them.

In a stagnant relationship, you may feel like you’re always waiting for your partner to change. Even if you love them and wish things were different, a stagnant relationship tends to remain that way. Changing your partner’s behavior is often challenging, especially if it’s been a persistent pattern.

9. You’re not really happy with one another.

A clear sign that you may be in a stagnant relationship is that you’re not really happy with each other. Maybe it wasn’t always like this, and it started as an amazing and loving relationship filled with happiness. But that can change for various reasons, and it’s bound to affect this aspect of the relationship and turn it stagnant. It might not feel great, but it’s normal and natural for this to happen when you’re not happy with each other.

How to Fix a Stagnant Relationship

It’s not impossible to fix a stagnant relationship. Although most can find it difficult and even intimidating, often feeling like it gets harder before it gets easier, it’s not impossible. Here are the steps you should follow if you want to fix your stagnant relationship.

Share how you feel.

To make your relationship better, you need to talk about your feelings, even if things aren’t going well. If you don’t talk about how you feel, you can’t fix anything. Talking can also help you realize if you’re in a stagnant relationship or not.

So, before you get too worried about your relationship, talk to your partner about how you feel and ask how they feel too. You both need to have an open conversation and figure out what’s really going on. If your partner isn’t ready to talk, try again later when they are. It’s important to talk and solve the problem together.

Suggest there be a change.

If you want something, you should ask for it. In this case, asking might be too direct, and your partner might take it better if it’s a suggestion instead of a request. Regardless, you should find a way to ask for what you would like. Be open to hearing what they would like to change as well, and try to get on the same page together.

A relationship has two people in it who both have important opinions, and you need to remember that when navigating to find a solution to your stagnant relationship.

Really try to make it work.

Now that you’ve shared your feelings, discussed your partner’s feelings, and talked about the necessary changes, it’s important to put in the effort to make it work. Make sure that the changes discussed are implemented, and if needed, hold your partner accountable so that they are equally committed to the relationship.

Both partners must take responsibility, even if only one feels the relationship is stagnant. Supporting each other in the process is essential, as the relationship’s success benefits both of you.

Be aware of the problem and remember it.

It can be challenging to maintain progress once a solution to the problem is found, as the relationship may revert to stagnancy. To prevent this from happening, it’s important to remain mindful of your relationship’s progress and recall the original issue every time you feel it slipping back into stagnancy.

Keep up with it.

Keep up with how your relationship is doing and the solutions you’ve implemented. Ensure that you’re still following through with your commitments and actively working towards the agreed-upon changes. It’s easy to slow down and think everything is okay, but a relationship requires constant effort and dedication, and keeping up with it is essential.

Finalizing. If you want to avoid stagnancy in your relationship, make sure you’re aware of the signs of a stagnant relationship, and know that even if it seems impossible to fix, it is very much possible to fix your stagnancy issue. Just be open and honest about how you feel and work on finding a solution, and you’ll be in a less stagnant relationship before you know it.