Relationship Deal Breakers

When you’re in a relationship, it’s important to know your partner’s limits and what they can tolerate. Sometimes, we get used to certain things that aren’t good to be tolerated, but we don’t realize it, and the relationship becomes toxic.

In this article, you’ll learn about relationship deal breakers to help you open up your eyes and notice if your partner has shown signs of these deal breakers. Usually, you won’t notice these deal breakers in the relationship until after you’ve been together for a year or a year and a half.

What Is a Deal Breaker?

A deal breaker is a characteristic present in a relationship with which you have an issue. It is often a deciding factor of whether or not you stay in the relationship. Typically, you’ll notice deal breakers in a relationship at the very beginning or once you have been together for a while.

What to Do With Deal Breakers

When you notice a deal breaker in your relationship, you have decisions to make. First, you need to analyze the situation and determine if the deal breaker you are being faced with can be resolved or if it’s something you don’t want to tolerate any longer.

If it can be resolved, you need to talk about it, compromise, and find a solution to resolve the problem. If it is something you no longer wish to tolerate, you will have to make the tough decision to end things with this person.

Deal Breakers in a Relationship

1. He talks more with his friends than with you.

When he’s more interested in talking about his personal life with his friends, telling them about hard things he is going through, and venting about his problems to them, it means that as his partner, you are no longer first in line to hear about these things, and he is prioritizing his friendships.

Usually, your partner is your best friend, if he’s losing that connection with you and he’s forming a stronger bond with his friends, then that could be a relationship deal-breaker.

2. He is selfish.

In a relationship, it’s important to be considerate of the other person. If you notice that for example, he goes grocery shopping and he doesn’t even think to ask if you want something and he only brings what he wants or cares to buy, or if he goes out with his friends and spends money while he’s out with them, but he won’t go out with you, or maybe you notice that he’ll buy himself really nice things, but he can’t be bothered to get you anything nice, then it all indicates this is a relationship deal breaker.

3. He often leaves at night.

If you notice that he always goes out at night, and only at night, especially several times throughout the week, and he always comes up with a different excuse, he is likely hiding something from you. Unless he has a night job, there’s not a good reason to go out every night.

Typically, the evening is when you and your partner are both home and when you can talk, spend time together, etc., after having been at work all day, which is why this time is valuable.

4. He doesn’t cooperate with home tasks.

It’s normal for your partner to feel bad if they see you doing all of the chores around the house by yourself and they’re not doing anything to help. Usually, your partner will ask if you need help, or they’ll just jump in and help, so you’re doing equal work together. If you notice that this isn’t the case anymore, you need to say something because it’s definitely a deal breaker.

5. He has anger issues.

Someone in the relationship reaches their limits when they realize that at any point in the discussion, the other person becomes aggressive or if they start acting in a way that makes you fearful of things escalating. It’s crucial to be aware of this deal breaker because you could be in danger. Someone who loves the person they are with would never purposefully act this way towards them.

6. He doesn’t value your opinion.

He doesn’t necessarily have to agree with everything you say or think, but he does need to value what you have to say about things. A relationship should be equal, and what you have to say or how you feel about something is just as important as what he has to say or how he feels.

7. There’s no physical connection.

If you notice that he’s not interested in you physically, and he doesn’t look at you the same way, hug or kiss you like before, or he doesn’t desire you in the same way as before, it could be because he’s lost interest, or he has gotten used to being with you.

8. He’s terrible with money.

If he has lots of debt or is simply irresponsible with his spending, and especially if he doesn’t ask you before spending when you share finances, then this is a sign that you will eventually be faced with money problems that may haunt you for the rest of your lives. Be careful and try to avoid these situations before they happen.

9. He doesn’t respect your family.

When you notice that he has absolutely no interest in spending time with your family, or talking to them, even if it’s just to say something as simple as ‘Happy Birthday’, he doesn’t respect them and doesn’t care about them in the slightest. If you hope to have a future with him, your family will one day be his family too, so he should behave better. He doesn’t have to like them, but he should always be respectful towards them.

10. He’s constantly negative.

Being with someone who is constantly negative and only brings negativity into the relationship, or to any situation for that matter, can be depressing and contagious. This is something you could talk about and allow him to have an opportunity to improve and become more positive. However, if he cannot fix his attitude and become more positive, you may find yourself being negative too or always feeling angry. If he can’t become more positive, it may be best to go your separate ways.

11. He cheated on you.

This should be an immediate deal breaker indicating it’s time to move on. You shouldn’t put up with cheating, and you should think very carefully about giving any second chances. Most people don’t change, and they’ll do it repeatedly, so make sure you analyze the situation to the best of your abilities to avoid this happening again.

12. You don’t agree on marriage.

In most relationships, after dating for a while, you usually want to start thinking about marriage. Marriage isn’t for everyone, but most people want to take this route. If he doesn’t want to get married, but you do, then you know this is a deal breaker that cannot be resolved unless one of you were to change their minds further down the line.

13. You don’t agree on having kids.

Same as with marriage, most people plan on having kids after getting married. If this isn’t what he wants, or if he doesn’t want it within your available timeline to have kids, then you’ll have to break up with him because this isn’t really something you can compromise on. Either you have kids, or you don’t.

14. He can’t get along with your friends.

Just like how it’s important for him to respect your family, it’s also important for him to get along with your friends. He doesn’t have to be best friends with them or even super close to them, but he should be able to get along with them and at least spend time with them if you’re hanging out with them somewhere he’s at as well.

15. He’s too needy.

If he’s too needy or too clingy, that’s a deal breaker. It might seem sweet in the beginning, but after a while, it can get annoying, and he might even start coming off as possessive. This is a behavior you want to do your best to spot right away because if you can notice it early on, you will probably be able to talk about it and resolve it before it becomes a deal breaker.

16. He doesn’t have ambition.

Having ambition is important, not only for himself and within his personal life, but because it can also greatly impact the relationship. Without ambition, things could quickly turn boring, and the relationship will not have the same potential to grow.

17. It’s his way or no way.

He might be a stubborn person, but he needs to know how to do things your way too, or find a way you both agree on. Compromise is huge in any relationship, and it’s never going to be that one of you is right and the other isn’t. If it’s always his way or no way, that’s a dealbreaker.

18. You fight too much.

When you’ve been with someone for a long time or spent too much time with someone, it’s common to butt heads a lot and fight. Even if you can resolve all of your fights, you still shouldn’t be fighting so much. If you notice this happening too frequently, you’ll need to reconsider the relationship.

Final thoughts

Understanding a deal-breaker is the most important part so that you can identify a deal breaker quickly and easily. Make sure you look out for the deal breakers mentioned above. If you’re lucky, you may be able to catch them in time and talk about them with your partner so you can find a solution together.