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Good Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone

When you're first getting to know someone, you might not know what to ask them right away. Having a few questions prepared will help you out so the conversation can flow better and you get to know the person better. If you're trying to come up with questions on the spot, you might not ask the most important ones.

If you are prepared with at least a general idea of the kind of question you want to ask the person you are trying to get to know, you will have a more complete conversation and obtain the answers you want.

Why Are Questions Important to Get to Know Someone?

Some people are talkative and don't require you to ask them questions in order to get the conversation going. They might be the ones asking you questions, in which case you can ask the same questions back without putting much thought into it. However, other people aren't as talkative, or they might be, but once the conversation gets going.

In this case, asking that person questions is important, so you get a conversation started with them. Another reason asking questions is so important is because you can learn more about the person more efficiently by asking them the right questions.

By asking specific questions, you can decide if you want to continue investing time into getting to know the person more or if they're not worth your time.

Type of Questions You Should Ask to Get to Know Someone

The type of questions you ask someone to get to know them is important. You can ask many different types of questions, depending on what your intentions are as well. For example, if you really want to get to know someone, you will ask normal questions about them.

If you want to be flirty and cut to the chase, you might opt for "would you rather" questions instead. Below is a list of different types of questions you can ask someone that you are interested in.

Normal questions.

These questions will be normal questions, perhaps related to family, work, friends, music, etc. Just everyday things you would like to know about them. These questions can easily segway into other conversations and bring new topics into the mix.

Would you rather questions.

These are great questions to ask because it lightens the mood, and these types of questions do not feel as serious as normal questions often feel, even if they are very casual.

Truth or dare.

Like the previous point, this is a fun game you can play with the person you are interested in to learn more about them more fun and flirty than the other kinds of questions you might ask. This allows things to stay chill and relaxed, but it also gives a window of opportunity to escalate things if you're in the mood to do so.

Ice breaker questions.

Sometimes this type of question is needed, especially to avoid awkwardness. These are often the best conversation starters because they can be light, simple questions. You can also make the question revolve around a compliment, giving you a chance to flirt with the person a little bit.

Playful questions.

These questions might slightly annoy the person you are interested in, but not in a bad way, but rather in a fun, quirky way. You could be fine not asking these questions, but you do so to get their attention and be playful with them.

Good Questions to Ask Someone

Ideal questions to ask someone.
Ideal questions to ask someone.

No matter what kind of question you are asking someone, you should do your best to make it a good question. You should try asking open-ended questions as much as possible. If you only ask yes or no questions you will obviously receive shorter answers, which doesn't allow the conversation to flourish to its maximum potential.

Ask questions that invite more elaborate answers, as much if not more often than the simpler questions you may ask. Below you will find suggestions for good questions to ask someone.

Where are you from?/Where were you raised?

This question will tell you a lot about a person and what customs or traditions they might have. Perhaps they have always lived in the same town, and they have fond memories to share with you. Maybe they have moved around a lot and have a lot of stories to share about all of the different experiences they had in each place.

Another possibility is that they are new in town, in which case you can take the opportunity to invite them to get to know the area better with you, perhaps as a date.

Do you have a big family?/Do you have siblings?/Are you family-oriented?

These questions are important when getting to know someone because it could be a large part of who they are. If they are very close to their family, it may be important for you to know that if you date this person, you will likely be involved in family activities and gatherings, for example.

What are you passionate about?

Finding out what your potential partner is passionate about is valuable information. You want to be with someone who has a purpose in their life. Whatever they are passionate about will likely revolve around their profession or their hobby, so it's a good way to ask about that indirectly.

What is your favorite band/movie/sport/food?

Asking what the person's favorite things are can seem simple, but your agreement or disagreement on what they like can spark interesting conversation or civil debates, leading to more conversation.

Would you rather (this) or (that)?

In this type of question, you could fill in the blanks with anything at all. You can make the options they are choosing from simple, or you can make them extra flirty and a little more inappropriate.

Type of Questions You Should Avoid Asking

Questions to avoid asking someone.
Questions to avoid asking someone.

There are topics that you simply want to avoid at all costs so as not to make the other person feel uncomfortable and to avoid any potential awkwardness between the two of you. Avoid asking the following questions to ensure a good conversation.

Family problem questions.

If they happen to bring up any family problems or drama, be supportive but don't pry and ask questions about the situation. Just listen, and if possible, try to move on from the topic, calmly but surely, because it's probably not a topic to be talking about with someone you don't know very well.

Sensitive topics.

Many topics could be sensitive for the other person to talk about, and you definitely don't want to start talking about something sensitive yourself. This is for two reasons: It is likely not appropriate to overshare in this aspect if this is the first conversation you are having with them.

The second reason is that no one enjoys talking about sensitive topics, and the goal is for this to be an enjoyable experience so it can happen again.

Bad behaviors.

You might be very interested in knowing if this person has any bad behaviors you should know about, but asking about them in the early stages of getting to know someone is not appropriate and could make them feel uncomfortable and pressured to sugarcoat things, so you like them despite what they share with you.

The person's bad behaviors are something you will learn over time unless it's a massive detail, in which case it will probably come up sooner than later. Remember, no one is perfect, and what you might deem as bad behavior could just be a behavior that isn't to your liking.

Past relationships.

You probably don't want to talk about exes when you're trying to get to know someone. It's okay to lightly touch on the subject because it might be important to you to know what their dating history is like to decide if you want to pursue them or not.

However, although you want to know about this, you should avoid asking too many questions about the topic. Talk about it without asking intrusive questions. After all, you are just getting to know them. If you feel things are getting serious and you might start a relationship with them, you could ask a little more about it.

To sum it up

Remember, when you ask questions, you get answers. So don't ask about things you don't want to know about, and avoid asking bad questions. When you're getting to know someone, the best kind of questions you can ask are more general questions about what they enjoy, what their preferences are for certain things, and simply questions about who they are.

This will allow you to really get to know who they are and learn more about them. If you're feeling flirty or playful, try coming up with good icebreaker questions that tie in a compliment, such as: Isn't the sky as beautiful as your smile today? If you ask something like that, you will get the person smiling.

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