10 Signs That Help Recognize a Toxic Relationship

Most women assume that toxic relationships only involve physical abuse and violent altercations. The truth, unfortunately, is a little more complicated than that. Although many toxic relationships do involve a certain amount of violence, most are actually quite subtle.

Toxicity is actually quite subtle and involves the use of emotional and psychological pressures. Many toxic relationships involve verbal abuse, emotional blackmail, and even subtle mind games.

This is why most women find it hard to identify toxic relationships until it is too late. So if you’re wondering about the state of your own relationship then here are 10 signs that you should look out for.

He’s Constantly Judging You

A little judgment and criticism are healthy but not when it’s done very frequently. Judgemental guys tend to have a lot of emotional baggage, and they also tend to develop codependent relationships. So if your husband or boyfriend keeps criticizing and judging you, don’t be afraid to push back a little.

For example, whenever he points out your flaws, you can retaliate by pointing out your positive points. And if he points out that he’s better than you, you can threaten to break up with him. You can also go out with your friends whenever he tries to verbally harangue you.

He’s Always Breaking His Promises

Guys who frequently break their promises usually develop toxic relationships. Not only are they unreliable, but they are also manipulative.

However, these type of guys also tends to have nice, charismatic personalities, which is how they keep convincing other people (including their wives and girlfriends) to believe what they have to say.

If your guy has this personality, you need to maintain a skeptical mindset whenever he makes certain promises. You can also ask him to offer you certain guarantees whenever he promises you something.

However, if he promises to do something very important, like marriage for example, then you should be prepared to break up with him if he fails to live up to his promises.

He Always Demands Too Much From You

Guys who demand too much from their girlfriends while giving very little in return tend to be abusive or at least egotistical. They are not sensitive to their partners’ needs, and they tend to react poorly to being denied.

If your boyfriend is like this then you need to ask for reciprocity. For example, if he asks you to do certain chores, ask him to do his fair share. If he asks you to sacrifice your time, ask him to do the same.

And if he asks you to sacrifice certain aspects of your life, like your career or hobbies for example, then ask him to do something similar for you.

He Uses the Same Excuses Over and Over Again

If your guy keeps messing up, and he uses the same excuses and apologies, again and again, that’s a sign of that your relationship has a problem. Some guys blame their emotional problems, while others blame their past or even their parents.

Others will even blame their girlfriends. So if your boyfriend keeps using the same excuses for all of his mistakes then that’s a sign that he doesn’t respect you, and may even regard your relationship with cynicism and contempt.

If he engages in this sort of behavior, confront him on it. Point out that he keeps using the same excuses again and again. You can also try pointing out that he keeps avoiding his responsibilities.

And if he acts like you’re victimizing him, point out that you’ve sacrificed a lot for your relationship, and that he should do the same.

He Openly Engages in Unfaithful Behavior

Is your guy openly flirting with other girls; calling them or messaging them through the internet? That sort of behavior is obviously a bad sign, but it’s also proof that your husband or boyfriend doesn’t respect you, which means that you’re in a toxic relationship.

There are several ways to deal with this sort of behavior but one option that you can try is to retaliate. For example, if your guy likes to use chat lines, use them too. If he likes to talk to other girls, chat up other guys.

If he likes to fool around with girls on social media, you can have a few male fans and followers of your own. And if he gets jealous, throw his bad behavior back at his face. If he improves his behavior and starts to become more faithful to you, do the same for him. If not, keep up the pressure.

He Doesn’t Trust You

Trust is an important part of any relationship. Guys who keep spying on their wives/girlfriends, follow them around or hack into their social media accounts usually have terrible relationships. Their suspicious natures turn into paranoia, which in turn makes their relationships toxic or even dangerous.

One solution to this problem is to go into marriage or relationship counseling. Suspicious husbands and boyfriends sometimes have bad experiences with their ex-girlfriends/wives, and little counseling can help to solve such problems.

Another option is to confront him about his trust issues. Sometimes, a long, honest and comfortable discussion can help suspicious or distrustful guys to trust their wives and girlfriends a little more.

Your Friends Keep Telling You That Your Relationship Is Toxic

We don’t like to listen to people who keep giving us unwanted advice, but sometimes, they may have a point. If two or three of your friends tell you that your relationship is falling apart then they probably have a point.

They may not be completely right, but the fact that they are saying something means that they may have noticed something that has escaped your attention.

If your friends keep telling you that your relationship is toxic, ask them to provide details or elaborate on their accusations then compare it with your own experiences.

If more than one of your friends keep pointing out such problems then they probably have a point, and you should probably re-examine your relationship

You’re Paying Most of the Bills and Doing Most of the Chores

If you’re doing most of the work in the relationship, and paying most of the bills then you are in a toxic relationship. This is somewhat the same as item #2 on our list but with a little difference.

Guys who let their wives and girlfriends do most of the chores and pay most of the bills are not necessarily abusive. They’re just lazy, and in many cases, they may not even have a job or a goal in life.

If this is the case, then you should politely ask them into putting in their fair share of the work and expenses. If they don’t have a job, ask them to find one. If they do have a job but won’t pay the bills, point out that you don’t have enough money to pay the bills.

And if he’s avoiding chores, make up a few excuses why you can no longer handle all household work. If he still won’t work or pay the bills, don’t hesitate to confront him on his negligence.

You Feel Like Your Life Is Falling Apart or Is Stagnant

If you feel your life is falling apart, and you feel no support from your guy then you probably have a toxic relationship. Most people draw strength and inspiration from their relationships.

So if you don’t feel like you’re getting the help and support you need from your guy, it’s probably because you’re in a bad one.

One way to deal with this problem is to confront your husband or boyfriend about your feelings. Ask them if they share the same concerns as you do, or why they won’t support you when you need their help.

If your guy is the cause of most of your problems, explain to him why you feel that way. He may be able to do something about the problems, or at least, change his ways.

If all else fails, ask your guy to go on marriage/relationship counseling. A good marriage/relationship counselor may help you find the source of most of your anxieties and relationship problems.

You Feel Like You’re Becoming Toxic Yourself

Finally and most importantly, your toxic relationship is turning you into a toxic person. If you feel like you’re becoming meaner, angrier and more stressed out then it may be because you’re in a bad relationship.

This is how co-dependent relationships develop but you can avoid such problems by confronting them and making some much-needed changes in your life.

You can, for example, do some of the things that you used to enjoy when you were still single. You can also use social media or dating chat lines to meet other people.

And finally, you can try confronting your guy about some of your problems, and ask him for support. If he agrees to help then your relationship may be salvageable. If not then that’s just one more sign that you’re in a very bad relationship.