How to Ask Her Out

When you realize you like someone, it can give you a sense of clarity on your personal feelings. But it sparks the question: “What do I do now?”

Navigating the dating world can be tricky, and the stakes can be high if you feel stronger feelings towards a specific person.

Before Asking Her Out

Reflect On Your Feelings.

Knowing exactly how you feel about someone is something you need to fully understand before making that first move. You don’t want to take that kind of risk and end up regretting it later. Sometimes we think we want things that we learn to be mere moments of desire.

Have you recently gotten out of a relationship? If so, this could be a potential rebound. There’s nothing wrong with doing what is best for you, but you may want to consider where things will go if you simply rebound. It could be possible that you are not in the right place to start something new with someone else, which may just mean that you need to give things a bit more time before you carry out a plan of moving forward.

What do you want from this situation? A relationship? No commitment? Simply seeing where it goes? Do you want this person, or is it more about the chase? These are all more than okay, but you must figure out what exactly you want so that there is no miscommunication. This way, everyone can make decisions based on what they want, and things don’t have to be complicated.

Is She Into You?

Consider her feelings in this. Do you have a hunch that she’s interested? It isn’t always easy to tell whether or not she’s into you, but there are always signs. Some of them will be obvious, and some may be more difficult to detect. She may do these things:

1. She’s more physical.

If she tends to stay by your side more often, it’s a good chance that she is interested. She may give you hints by touching your side, hugging you a bit longer, holding your hand, or even a small little peck on the cheek. This is the most obvious way to let you know that she is waiting for you to make the first move!

2. She spends time with you.

To make time for someone is to prioritize them. The more time she spends with you, the more she wants to.

3. She wants to be alone with you.

You may find that there are moments where she pulls you away from the crowd, or you find yourself standing outside alone during a party. These moments should not be taken for granted because they mean something.

Finding comfort in a singular person with plenty of others around is a great sign to highlight her interest in you. One of these moments could even be the best opportunity to make a move.

When Should You Ask Her Out?

There is no perfect time! If you try to plan a specific date and moment, it may not go the way you want. You must accept that some things in the world of romance are out of your control.

Make sure that you allow the moment to naturally happen. It will be much more special in memory if you go for it whenever it feels right. This is a fine time to trust your gut and let it guide you. When things are meant to happen, they will happen. You do still have to give it a push, though.

Just go for it! Taking risks in life can be quite rewarding, and you deserve to be happy with someone you are interested in. You can wait and hope that she will make the first move, but it may never happen. Most girls don’t always feel comfortable making that initial move, so they will simply hint at it, whilst waiting on you.

How to Ask Her Out

1. Don’t Force It Into a Conversation.

Just because you are nervous and ready to get the question over with, that doesn’t mean you should blurt it out at any given moment. Allow things to flow to a general topic that you can lead into asking her out. Patience is key in matters of romance.

2. Don’t Make Her Decide in Front of Her Friends.

This should be a private moment. If the situation doesn’t go the way you want, you probably won’t want an audience. If you find yourself already alone with her, then things can be comfortable enough for you to just go for it.

3. Don’t Stall.

When you approach the topic, try to avoid dragging out the question. It may happen due to nerves, but she could get impatient. Awkward tension can happen, but it is best if it can be avoided.

4. Have a Plan in Mind.

No girl wants to be asked on a date, only for her to have to figure out what the date is going to be. Have a plan ready for when she (hopefully) says yes. That way, there is no hassle. Consider something light like a dinner, a movie, or even a walk in the park.

5. Keep It Simple.

This does not have to be as big of a deal as it has possibly become in your mind. Here are some ideas of easy-going ways to ask her out:

Ask her out over a phone call.

Nothing is quite as easy as calling someone to just ask them one question. This way, you can already have her on the phone to make plans.

Ask her out in person.

This is the boldest and most upfront way to go about asking out– and she just may find your boldness to be rather flattering. You could even bring some flowers to spice things up, or something small that you know she loves.

Ask her out with a text message.

If you are quite shy and worry that you may mess up your words, sending her a text message is a possible method for you. I wouldn’t recommend it as the top method because it may not be received as well.

Ask her out by writing a letter.

This may seem old-school, but it can be seen as quite romantic to a lot of girls. You don’t have to confess your undying love for her, but it could be a great way to get creative in telling her how you feel.

The Aftermath

So you’ve asked her out. Let’s say that she said yes. Now what? Take a deep breath, and let the nerves out. You did it! Making that first move is a scary thing to do, and you accomplished it. Now comes the easier part: the date. Just be yourself and let the date unfold. Ask her questions, and get to know her as well as you can. Let your humor flow. a healthy amount of goofiness will help the conversation stay at a steady pace.

It’s perfectly okay if things feel a little awkward. Either one of you may be nervous or shy, which is bound to create a little bit of tension. It doesn’t mean that the date is going poorly. As the evening carries on, you should both be able to become more at ease with each other. Sometimes, all that is needed is some time to smooth out any situation.

To go in for a kiss or not will be up to you. Pay attention to how she is acting on the date and whether or not she is physical or flirty. If things are going great and all of the signs are pointing to a second date, it could be the perfect opportunity to lean in for a kiss. She may say no and say that she doesn’t want to go that far yet, which is completely normal. Just have a little patience and work with her.

No matter what, have fun with it! It’s a date, and it’s a girl that you like. Make the most of things, and enjoy the time you have with that special someone.

What to Do if She Says No.

In the case that she says no, you may want to prepare for rejection. Being told “no” is not always easy to deal with, but it happens to everyone. You are not the first person someone has turned down a date from. But a rejection will just be your sign to move on. There are plenty of girls out in the world who will spark your interest, and you just have to go out and meet them.

If she declines your date offer, do not persist. A girl will not appreciate it if she is pushed. You don’t want to make someone uncomfortable just because things did not turn out the way you had hoped. Your pride may be hurt, but no means no. She may need time, and she may come to you later. But you shot your shot, and that is the best you can do in that situation.