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How to Flirt

A lot of people find the concept of flirting quite vague. Some are too naive to figure out how it works, while others tend to overdo it. Some seem clueless whenever somebody is trying to flirt with them, while others don't know how to respond to flirting.

If the idea of flirting confuses you or makes you feel uncomfortable, there is a truckload of ideas that can ease the process. By learning the art of flirting, you can actually enjoy doing it for many reasons other than just hitting on someone you like. So let's explore the subject further by understanding how flirting works.

What Is Flirting?

Flirting is a basic element in every person's sexual repertoire, which can be verbal, non-verbal, or both. It communicates interest and attraction towards another person through gestures, expressions, and various forms of body language. If you are flirting with someone, your primary intention is to let that person know that you are interested in them, rather than make them like you.

Flirting is a classic way of expressing yourself to someone to develop mutual awareness and establish a connection. Some people refer to it as a silent language between two people trying to communicate their thoughts and feelings to satisfy a particular need.

The different ways humans express themselves are deeply rooted in their nature, making flirting almost natural and intuitive in every person.

This implies that every human being has the ability to execute and understand the language of flirtation, from making side glances to get another person's attention, smiling, maintaining eye contact, tucking the hair behind the ears, and biting the lip. However, the most common purpose is to satisfy human nature's most fundamental commands, which are to attract, interact, and find a mate.

At its finest, flirting is more than just a random activity or trivial movement. It is an art that requires multiple skills, like body language, creativity, intelligence, good timing, and empathy. Needless to say, whether you're looking for romance, trying to amuse yourself at a party, or attempting to manipulate a customer, learning the art of flirting and knowing how to execute it smoothly can be beneficial in a lot of ways.

Why Do People Flirt?

People flirt for many reasons, such as expressing their interest in someone, finding a partner, satisfying their sexual needs, or simply for playful fun. Some people also use their flirting skills for personal gains, like generating more sales, convincing someone, or pulling something off.

Another reason why people flirt is because the process itself allows them to signal their attraction in small increments. This enables them to carefully assess and gauge the level of interest they have for each other without necessarily talking about it. By doing so, they are able to make well-calculated moves while trying to determine the strength of their chemistry.

Basically, flirting is a by-product of one's instinct and feelings, rather than logical thinking. It's the most practical way for people to communicate their emotions in a subdued and indistinct manner. It's like saying "I like you" without necessarily saying so, which makes it a lot easier, less risky, and more conservative.

Despite all these, a lot of information is conveyed through flirting. The eye contact, gestures, and body language serve as a channel to figure out how a person makes you feel, or if this person deserves your attention. In that sense, flirting is a course of action for people to openly convey their thoughts in a recognizable yet inconclusive way.

How to Flirt With a Girl

Learn how to start flirting with girls.
Learn how to start flirting with girls.

For guys out there, what you need to know when you're trying to flirt with a girl is that "less is more". If you want her to know that you're interested in her, you don't have to try out many antics just to get your message across. You simply have to execute your moves most naturally and strikingly. Here are some examples;

1. Make her aware that you're looking in her direction.

When your eyes meet, give her a friendly smile or a slight nod, and then look down. It might confuse her a bit, but it can give her the idea that her presence affects you.

2. Try to make eye contact.

The next time your eyes meet or if she catches you looking towards her direction again, you may try to hold the stare for a few seconds before looking down. A few seconds of eye contact can convey a lot and possibly give you a slight inkling of whether or not she's interested in you. A hint of smile (not too wide) right before you break the eye contact or as you look down adds a subtle charm to this gesture.

3. Initiate a small talk.

If you can manage to get close enough for a small talk, drop a low-key compliment or ask a clever question – anything that can spark her interest and applies to the situation. You may also comment about something or suggest a drink that she might want to try if you're at a bar. This could also be the perfect time for you to use your sense of humor.

4. Keep it short and sweet.

Talk is cheap, so avoid having a lengthy conversation if you're trying to flirt with a girl. Small talks, short responses, and candid questions are more fun and intriguing. Remember that flirting is not just all about expressing your interest in a girl, but also making her play along with you. Therefore, keeping it short and sweet can keep her hanging for more (if your charm smites her).

5. Your actions can reveal a lot.

Make her heart flutter through your body language. For example, look deep into her eyes, make the slightest skin contact, maintain an open body posture, angle your body towards hers, and make quick side glances at her. Even without saying a word, your body language can communicate a lot and can give her the impression that you find her attractive.

6. A subtle form of flattery works like a compliment.

Girls like compliments, but too much can be irritating and uncomfortable – even somewhat insincere. Instead of telling her directly how hot and attractive she is, you can say, "every guy on this planet would love to be your date tonight"; and instead of telling her that you find her very attractive, you can say, "I'm finding it hard to take my eyes off you". A little creativity with your words and a lot of sincerity in your voice can bring a smile to her face.

7. Give her the impression that you're available.

If you're flirting with a girl, make her feel that you're available and that you have enough time for her. This is the easiest way to figure out how she'll respond to your hint or if she's interested. Making it clear that you're available communicates your intention to connect with her. Whether you're hitting on a girl that you seriously like or you're just playing around, giving her the impression that you're free and unattached can seamlessly lead to better outcomes. 

How to Flirt With a Guy

Discover how to flirt with guys.
Discover how to flirt with guys.

Girls are far more creative and resourceful when it comes to flirting. They can execute their moves naturally and unsuspiciously by combining different forms of body movements and spontaneous responses. These include smiling, touching, leaning, and attentive listening. That's why when girls flirt with guys, the act often leads to a playful exchange of body language.

If you're a girl who wants to learn the art of flirting, you don't have to try too hard because it's practically in your DNA. With some creativity, spunk, and attitude, you can unleash your skills and start flirting with guys in any way you want – even in the most obscure way. Here are some tips on how to flirt with guys;

1. Start with the basics.

The trademarks of flirting with guys are undoubtedly universal. Girls usually smile, act with finesse, arch their brows a bit, flip their hair, touch their neck, laugh sexily, and bite their lip. Oftentimes, girls can flirt without using any words at all. They can draw attention without doing much. You should learn this because when it comes to flirting with guys, non-verbal communication is more impactful than spoken words.

Here are some examples;

  • Innocent Eye Contact: Make eye contact with a guy, then look away and try to look innocent, as if you're busy with something. If you have a drink, take a sip to make it seem natural.
  • Playful Distraction: Run a finger slowly around the rim of your glass while sitting next to a guy at a bar. Look deep into his eyes when he starts to notice you. Lingering eye contact can distract him for a second.
  • Harmless Seduction: Bite your lip when you catch him looking at you and try to hold the stare for a few seconds before smiling.
  • Sexy and Tipsy: Pull your shoulders back to accentuate the curve of your spine. Tilt your head back while touching your nape and move your head slowly from side to side a couple of times.
  • Damsel in Distress: Pretend that you need help and make sure that the guy you're flirting with notices it. It could be as urgent as needing a phone charger, car trouble, or a quick ride home.
  • Bold Signals: Find an excuse to lean on a guy by acting tipsy or as if you've lost your balance for a split second. A bit of skin contact would enable you to send some bold signals. It's also an innocent way to get closer to a guy.

2. Find a reason to talk to him.

Flirting with a guy can go beyond body language and escalate to actual interaction. Be creative and find a good reason to talk to him. You can either approach him to inquire about something, go to a place he often visits, act as if you run into him by chance, or invite him to a party. The idea is to initiate a conversation with him and get him to notice you. Once you're in speaking terms, it would be easier for you to find other reasons to connect with him.

3. Flash your best assets.

Take that chance to put a guy under your spell by flashing him your best assets. Guys can't resist girls that show off a bit of skin and curves. However, you have to do it tastefully and most decently. It's like conveying to him that you're sexy without actually flaunting too much. To execute this, pick clothes that can make his imagination run wild.

Here are some ideas;

  • Identify your best physical attributes and wear clothes that highlight them. It could be your neck, breast size, and cleavage, abs, waist, arms, or legs.
  • Wear clothes that complement your skin color.
  • Pick fabrics that spell sexy such as silk, lace, and satin, and pick styles that flatter your figure.

4. Incorporate casual touches.

An effective way to flirt with a guy is to incorporate some casual touches to your flirting repertoire. After all, flirting is all about being spontaneous and seductive. So if you particularly like the guy that you're flirting with, casual touching can add an element of thrill and excitement. As long as he seems interested in you and he's responding well to your physical advancement, things can only get better from there.

Here are some examples of casual touches;

  • A friendly push on his shoulder.
  • A gentle tap on his arm.
  • A playful slap on his knee if you're sitting next to each other.
  • Nudging him with your shoulder.
  • Gently patting his back.

A lot of questions can run through your head while flirting. Questions like "am I trying too hard?" or "am I too much?" can distract you. Keep in mind that flirting is all about conveying your interest and attraction towards another person, regardless of how he or she will respond to your gesture.

Therefore, the best thing that you can do is focus on being friendly rather than being sexually suggestive to avoid sending the wrong signal. This can help you take the pressure off the situation and can potentially yield more favorable outcomes.

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