What Questions to Ask on a First Date
If you’re someone who gets nervous on a first date and finds yourself at a loss for words, don’t worry. We’ve compiled a list of easy and deep questions to ask on a first date. This way, you can keep the conversation going while getting to know your date better.
12 Easy Questions to Ask on the First Date
Making the first date count is crucial, and getting to know your date is important. We’ve compiled a list of 12 light, easy questions to ask on a first date.
1. What are your hobbies?
It’s important to find out what hobbies the person has to see how compatible you might be. Hopefully, your date has some hobbies that you also enjoy, or that at least pique your interest, which can lead to ideas for future dates. It’s okay if you don’t share any hobbies; there are many other things you can have in common.
2. What are your friends like?
You should ask what their friends are like because if things go well between you two, chances are they’ll become your friends too. It’s likely they’re similar to their friends, so it’s interesting to see what they think their friends are like. It’s also important to ask this question to find out how social they are, or if they’re more on the antisocial side.
3. Do you have any siblings?
Asking if they have siblings opens up the topic of family and helps you learn about their family life and their relationship with their family. You might be someone with strong family values looking for someone close to their family. It’s also interesting to find out if your date has siblings because growing up with siblings can shape your life differently compared to being an only child.
4. How did you grow up?
The experiences someone had in their childhood can greatly impact who they are as a person. Whether their parents got divorced, they had to move around a lot, they were bullied, experienced poverty, or even had a picture-perfect childhood, all of these can influence who they are today, for better or worse. Understanding their background can help you understand what makes them who they are today.
5. What do you do for work?
What they do for work can say a lot about them. Perhaps they work in an office all day, or maybe they have a more hands-on job that requires them to move around a lot. Some people have jobs that require a lot of traveling, which could impact a potential relationship.
6. Where did you go to school?
This question is interesting simply for general knowledge about the person, and to lead into the topic of what they majored in. It’s important to also ask if they feel like that portion of their life played an important role in their life today or not.
Some people are really invested in the college they went to and still have a strong sense of school spirit and enjoy going to alumni events, which may or may not be something you’re interested in.
7. What goals or aspirations do you have in life?
This is probably one of the most important questions you should ask on a first date. You want to make sure you are dating someone who has goals and aspirations, and who wants to continue growing as a person to achieve what they hope to accomplish in life.
It’s also interesting to see what goals you may have in common and to find out if you want the same things in life. You don’t have to want the same things, but you might be more compatible if you are striving for the same end goals.
8. What is your zodiac sign?
To some, this might be a trivial question, but to others, it can say a lot about a person. If you believe in astrology, you might discover much about their personality and the potential compatibility between your signs. This question isn’t for everyone, but it can be fun to discuss, even if you don’t take it too seriously.
9. What kind of music are you into?
It’s good to find things you have in common with your date, and music is a great topic to explore. Even if you don’t have the same taste in music, you might discover new music you both enjoy, especially if one of you is really into music. Maybe you can even talk about going to a concert for a future date.
10. What kind of movies do you like?
This will help you figure out if they’re more of a movie person or a music person. You can exchange favorite movie titles, and maybe inspire your date to ask you out on a movie date. It’s a lighter question to break up the more serious ones.
11. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
This is an interesting question to ask on a first date because it can give you a sense of how adventurous the person is and can lead to more interesting conversations about travel plans. You can talk about places you’ve been, share stories, and give recommendations.
12. What’s your idea of a perfect weekend?
This can give you a sense of what your date likes to do in their free time. Perhaps they like to relax and spend the weekend playing video games and watching movies, or maybe they’re more active and enjoy going on hikes or getting out of the house. Some people work on weekends, so it’s good to find out if that’s the case with your date so you can understand how much quality time you might have together if things progress.
5 Deeper Questions to Ask on the First Date
Some might not consider these questions appropriate for a first date, but if you’re seeking a serious relationship, you understand the importance of asking them early on. While they’re not for everyone and not meant for every dating scenario, below are some deeper questions to consider for a first date.
1. Are you looking for something serious?
Before diving into your deeper questions, it’s important to figure out if they’re looking for something serious like you are. If your date says no, then avoid asking the rest of these questions and continue to make small talk until the date is over, or have some casual fun if that’s what you’re both into. If your date says they are looking for something serious, then you can let them know you are too and proceed with the following deeper questions.
2. What are you looking for in a relationship?
Now that you know they’re looking for something serious, you can figure out exactly what it is they want in a relationship. Are they dating to marry, dating to see where it goes, or something else? Hopefully, your answers align and you can continue with the deeper questions.
3. Why were you interested in going on a date with me?
Although this isn’t a very deep question, it does require the other person to open up and possibly get vulnerable about their feelings toward you, so it falls into the category of deeper questions. It’s interesting to find out what about you caught their interest, and what made them want to go on a date with you in the first place.
4. How did your last relationship end?
This isn’t always the best question to ask on a first date, but if you feel that you’ve connected with this person and you’ve both been opening up, it’s worth asking. Finding out how their previous relationship ended can help you understand them better, and it’s important to watch for red flags.
For example, if they’re calm and honest yet reveal they ended their last relationship because they cheated, you might see it as a red flag and a sign to proceed with caution, or even to not pursue further dates.
5. Do you want kids?
This is another controversial question to ask on the first date, but read the room and figure out if you feel it’s appropriate to ask or not. If you somehow touch on the topic, then you could take that opportunity to ask. If it feels too forced, then maybe skip this question, or save it for later.
Ultimately, the first date is when you should get all the questions out of the way so you can understand what the person is like and see if you’re still interested in going on another date with them. Don’t make it an interrogation; instead, turn the questions into a conversation that’s easy to talk about.
This article was originally created and published by Axel Diaz on November 6th, 2023 and includes up-to-date information and insights from experts on the topic.
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