First Date: Top 10 Tips for a Successful First Date
Dating can at times be harder than what most people think. After going out to various dinner dates, some may throw in the towel and resort to living a life of solitude, a life of being a potato couch where their eyes are glued to their screens as if there is a loyalty reward program by Netflix.
However, dating can be amazing if it is done right. Sticking by simple dating rules lead most people to great relationships.
There are endless questions on what to do before a date, during a date, and after a date. Where should you meet? Who should pay? What should you wear? What should you say?
If you are among those who always find themselves asking these questions, consider this article your dating guide book. Guard and embrace every information you gather here, following what you learn by the end of this article will see you become successful in every date you go to.
Following the simple rules discussed here will see you have a marvelous first date and guarantee a second date.
The following are some of the most excellent dating tips you will ever get:
1. First Impressions Count
You might have a pair of jeans that you consider lucky. You’ve worn it on countless dates, and things have always gone smoothly for you; you consider the pair of jeans as your lucky charm.
In as much as things might have worked out right for you in the past with your lucky pair of jeans, you should always have in mind that not all people are the same. Some people might not be into jeans on the first date.
The most important thing to do during the first day out with your date is to make a good impression. First impressions last a lifetime. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not implying that you should show up to your first date in a 6-piece tuxedo. Be you, do you?
Always be comfortable in your skin. However, this does not mean that you should show up to a date looking like you just came out of a hole because you like looking shaggy.
Take a shower, shave, and put on something that will impress your date on your first day out. Show that you care about yourself through decent grooming.
2. Go Out to Places You Are Most Comfortable
Dating can be tough. If your date asks you to choose a dating spot, pick somewhere you are most comfortable being around. In most cases, a dating spot should be familiar territory.
Picking a place you are comfortable with will make you less anxious. It’s, however advisable to avoid your regular drinking joint. The last thing you want is to bump into your drunk buddies on your first date; they might be a destruction and first day out with your potential partner might be disastrous.
3. Ooze Confidence
Nothing is as attractive as a confident person. Confidence makes us shine with enthusiasm; it shows that we believe in ourselves. People cannot believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself.
If you are naturally shy, ensure that you practice talking to your male or female friend before going on your first date. The best way to show the person you are on a date with that you are confident is by talking about a subject that you are enthusiastic about. You might talk about your hobby, your passion, or your views on humanity.
Talking passionately about the things that keep you going will make your date sense your confidence. Most people are shy about their appearance. You might be too slim, too short, or maybe a plus-size woman.
Do not let your appearance get to your head. Showing your date that you are happy and comfortable in your skin makes you more attractive to them.
4. Never Do All the Talking
The first rule of going out on your first date is that you should never do all the talking. If all goes well, you will go for a second, third, or other more dates where you can talk about anything that comes to your mind.
Listening is a crucial skill that will make you know more about your date. Mix up the conversation by pausing and asking your date some questions.
Asking questions shows that you take an interest in your date. You may ask your date about what they do for fun, who their role model is, how they like to spend their holidays, who has influenced them the most in their lives, what they are reading at the moment, where they’d like to live for the rest of their lives and so on.
The list of questions to ask are endless. If you find yourself being tongue-tied during such situations, you can cram some questions to ask before going out with your date.
5. Ensure the Conversation Is Fun
Always make sure that the conversation during your first date is light-hearted. Never go into in-depth discussions like how you’re your new boss is a pain in the ass or other issues that might be bugging you in your life.
It’s normal to be serious at times, but never ruin your first date by making it sound like you are in a boring philosophy class.
6. Never Talk About Your Ex
Talking about your ex during the first date is treading on a dangerous path. Your date does not want to listen to what happened to the two of you. Talking about your ex makes thing awkward during your first date.
It sends a message that you have probably not gotten over them. If this topic comes up, keep the conversation casual, and ensure that your answers are short. Reassure your date that you are over your ex and that you are trying to move on. Show your date that you are more interested in knowing them.
7. Turn Off Your Phone
Apart from slow internet, nothing is as annoying as a phone that keeps ringing in between conversations with your friends and family members. The same applies to a phone ringing during a date.
It’s not only irritating, but it also shows that your attention is not entirely focused on your date. Do not put it on vibrate or silent mode because you can still be distracted.
Ensure that your phone is turned off. If your date knows that your phone is turned off, he or she will appreciate that you are committed to knowing more about them because all of your attention is focused on them.
8. Get Rid of Your Dating Wish List
Most people seem to think that life is a fairy-tale and that they will finally come across Mr. or Ms. Perfect. The truth is, no such thing will ever happen. We are all humans, and we all have our shortcomings.
If you want to come across someone suitable to you, you have to get rid of your dating wish list. Having your boundaries or non-negotiables is perfectly normal.
However, your strict wish list such as dating someone driving a particular car, someone being this tall or this funny will hold you back from meeting people who are great in real life. Your wish list will limit you to people who are only good on paper.
9. Know Your Sexual Boundaries
Most people tend to confuse sexual desires with other people’s interest in them. He or she might want sex, but you tend to think that there is something more that they want.
Relationship experts advise that it is good to explore your sexual boundaries so that you do not get to confuse the intention of having sex with the intention of dating.
Never be pressured into doing something that you are not into so that you can gain someone’s interest.
10. Follow Up Correctly
If you are not interested in a second date, never call the person you have been out with. You will end up feeling lousy, and the person might end up feeling hurt.
All you have to say after the date is that you had a good time. Never play games if you do not want to see the person again. This will only be toying around with their emotions, especially if they are into you.
You might be tempted to wait a few days to call back so that you do not look desperate. Never do this; it only happens in movies. Waiting a few days to give them a call sends a message that you did not enjoy your date or that you are not bothered at all.
If you enjoyed your first date. Do not waste time in contacting them. Let them know that you enjoyed the time you spent together. The sooner you let them know that you had a great time, the better.
Conclusion
Going out on a date, especially the first date can be daunting. You might have a hard time anticipating the first date, and you might end up panicking. Never force anything while on a date.
Let things flow naturally. If you are not confident with your dating skills, making use of the advice shared in this article will jumpstart your dating life, and if all goes well, you might end up having an excellent relationship with the person you went out with.
This article was written and published by Lucas Rodriguez on September 4th, 2019, and updated on February 23rd, 2021, to include relevant insights from experts on the topic and updated information.
Comments
Priscilla Faye
December 4, 2019, 11:05 pm
I'm literally about to go on the first date with guy that I just met and I'm FREAKING OUT so much!! I feel better after reading this but still nervous, but it does feel good to know that I'm not the only one who thinks you should turn off your phone and then not talk about your ex on a first date or any of the first several dates. To me it's all common sense. I'm glad this article backs up what I've always said for years.